Bersyukurlah dan senyumlah....

Bila jatuh sakit, tak larat nak buat apa-apa, hanya sekadar yg terdaya, membaca adlh atr yg saya mampu lakukan. Tapi dlm keadaan jasmani yg krg upaya, mental pun slightly threatened. Bila motivasi dlm diri smkn lemah mcm battery tak bercaj, peringatan dan perkongsian org lain harap2 dpt membantu.

Ptg ni rmh sunyi. Didik n Babang tidur slps diberi ubat batuk n selsema, Papa Nasir juga sdg take a nap (mgkn kecewa tak dpt iringi majlis di Alor Star krn keadaan sy msh di thp tak diizinkan travel jauh, smlm Dr Ros pun pesan bgt), maka lappy jd kwn sy.

Dan telah Tuhan tentukan hari ini saya akan terbaca posting FB seorg doctor yg pnh beri khidmat rwtn utk saya, doctor yg sgt bermurah hati tlg baca n beri komen utk STKG. She may not remember me since I am just one of hundreds or may be more, patients she attended to everyday in her career.

Bila baca sharingnya ini saya teringat komunikasi kami dulu bila saya mengeluh ttg bhgn hidup saya yg ada lbh byk hari sakit dari hari sihat. She said lbh krg begini, "Semua orang sakit, dan kita perlu berubat. At least, your illness msh blh dirawat. Saya ni walaupun doctor, sakit juga. And you may not want to know how sick I am..."

Saya simpan ia di sini (sbb dia kata sharingnya ini tak ada copyright hu hu) spy bila perlu sy blh refer ia utk bantu boost my spirit up. Mmg setiap yg berlaku tu adalah peringatan, kasih sayang dan teguran Allah. Thank you Dr Idza...

u see..God always have a way of showing me that i need to be thankful for what i have..being a human being we like to complaint a lot ..me included..the minute a thought crosses my mind of how unlucky i think i am..BAM!! a reminder will swiftly come along..u see the difficult thing about having an illness or a condition..are the follow ups..follow ups are a constant reminder of how sick u are..reminder of u may not live that long..a reminder of the things that u cant have..a reminder of things that u cannot do..being sick as a doctor is worst..because u can actually prognosticate urself..and have these flashes of worst case scenarios in you brain..it was somewhat 2 weeks ago..i was going for my scans..i arrived earlier like i alway do..registered..paid..and wait..any kind of wait in the hospital is excruciating..so i decided to get myself a drink..while walking, hati kecilku berkata " how long do i have to keep doing this,,?? next week appt mate pulak..kemudian surgical..kemudian amek darah kemudian amek darah lagi...hai letihnye,,kawan2ku semua dah jadik hebat2 belaka..semua dah dlm master sikit hari lagi jadik specialist..anak2 diorg pun dah besar..aku? ni la keje aku..hai..."soon after habis je terdetik ayat yg terakhir..someone called me from behind.."doktor!! jap doktor!!"it was a man who looks like he knew me..man : doktor igt saya tak? ( dlm hati aku byk gile patient aku jumpa seminggu..off course aku tak igt hang..) doktor yang refer isteri saya minggu lepas pasal masalah darah tu..yg semua darahnye rendah tu"..suddenly i remembered his wife..it was a case of pancytopenia that i referred..me: ape cerita? man: die dpt cancer darah doktor..pakar kate dah tahap kritikal..tak tahu la boleh sembuh ke tak"..his eye begins to swell..the man continued.."anak2 saya kecik lagi doktor..saya tak tahu nak buat ape "..i ended comforting him for 15 minutes but i know whatever i said would not help much..walking back to the scan room..hati kecilku berkata..: she has a few things in life that i might never have..but at that particular point in time..i do not want to be in her shoes..i was thankful for the many..many follow ups that i am getting in the future..because i knew at the back of my mind..that the ( wife man tadi tu ) patient most likely would have much fewer follow ups than i have..that if she makes it out of this ordeal alive..so my spirit was back up..and ready to face my ordeal with a smiling face...bring it on...!! Life was good...for the next 2 weeks..and came this morning...me and my sister..we are very close..we like to " bitch " or in other words discuss about life always..i called her up.. wake her up from sleep( i was driving to work and yes..using my handfree kit )..just to complaint about how tired i am..malas nak gi keje la..duit tak cukup la..tuan rumah kerek la..bos kedekut la...all the usual...just after hanging up..jam pulak kat highway..bunyi ambulans kedengaran dari belakang...yup it was an accident..when i passed by the accident..i saw a young women lying on the ground..crying her head off..both her legs..looks deformed in a way ( dlm hati mesti fracture ni )..it got me thinking...i rather be tired..stressful..driving my car to work rather being in the place of that young women who will most likely be fighting for her life..ok..ok..GOD i get it..i need to be thankful..thank you for reminding me..and please GOD..please do not stop reminding me..ever..so that i will not stray...from whatever u have planned out for me...SMILE!!